Post by Della Wren on Feb 25, 2023 17:57:02 GMT -6
The mind is a crazy place to be. Most people are never taught how to control the mind or the voice in their heads. A big part of self-mastery is learning to control these things. These things are major factors in how we feel most of the time and in the decisions that we make for ourselves.
I have a voice in my head right now that I'm having a hard time keeping control over because I'm starting up this little platform and I am completely reliant on it being fully crowd funded in order to keep going. Without crowd funding I have to shut this thing down.
There's a voice in my head that likes to tell me that it will never happen. Why does it say that? Because I've never been able to maintain a paid-for platform before. I've never made enough money to support a platform that wasn't free. Based on past experience the voice in my head is predicting the future and creating the same outcome. But I changed things this time and I did this differently.
I posted about what I was doing and I said openly that I couldn't afford the platform and that if it wasn't fully crowd funded I wouldn't be able to maintain it. I changed the strategy and that should result in a different outcome but the voice in my head doesn't pay attention to that.
What I want you to see is that generally the voice in my head is not all that obnoxious. It doesn't spend time insulting me or causing a load of trouble, but it is a bit of a naysayer sometimes. What I've learned to do is work around it a little bit. I've learned to not engage in the story. I've learned to understand that the voice just talks a lot and is only replaying old stories of pain. It truthfully has nothing new to say.
Kind of like emotions, I've taught myself to stay out of the story that wants to play in my head. No, it's not a perfect system and yes, I still struggle to control it sometimes, but I have enough skills now to be able to recognize what's happening when it's happening.
For most people they just buy into whatever the voice says. They actually don't override, veto, or edit the voice at all. They just let the voice say whatever and they agree with it. So the minute the voice tells them they suck, they believe it. When I tell you that this is a good way to stay in pain all the time, it's because I used to do that myself. I know what that's like and it sucks.
You have to be able to tune out of the 24/7 narration in your head because it's lying to you and it's filled with painful stories that aren't true anymore. When that voice offers you one of those many stories, you have to be able recognize it and at least not buy into it, if not shut it down completely. The better you get at this the fewer stories the voice will make up - but it's a process and it takes practice.
What I usually tell people is to start with the thing that's screaming the loudest. Why? Because that's the thing that's on repeat right now. That's the story that you're telling the most often. It's the one that'll be the easiest to stop because it's so prominent. You don't have to make an effort to find it, it's just there. It's the proverbial elephant in the room.
The way to deal with it is to begin to question the story you're being told. Is the voice in my head telling me the truth? The answer is no, but you need to be able to see that for yourself. Can you see that the voice is lying?
Now look at what action you were planning to take or not take based on what that voice is saying. Is that helpful? Is it moving you in the right direction? If not, then why are you doing it? Can you shift your thinking away from the voice in your and come up with a strategy that allows you to move forward anyway? Can you find a way to mitigate the fear the voice in your head is offering?
Life is a giant strategy session. The strategy is all about how to make your human self comfortable so that you can be okay and move on with your life. How do I do this in such a way that I don't freak myself out? How do I make this work for myself?
You'll get good at seeing the stories your mind makes up and you'll learn how to modify your behavior in such a way that you can make yourself comfortable. Honestly, that's all I'm doing. I see the story and I'm just looking for ways to make myself comfortable enough to try to move forward anyway.
Will it work? Who knows! But you know what? I'm willing to go on the journey even when the outcome is unsure or unknown. I'm okay with what happens because there is an inherent value in the journey of simply writing these articles, even if nobody ever reads them.
And that's the point. Going on the journey even when the voice in your head tells you not to, is usually how you learn the most. The journey is where the value is. The destination is just a cool rest stop until the next adventure begins.
Love to all.
Della
I have a voice in my head right now that I'm having a hard time keeping control over because I'm starting up this little platform and I am completely reliant on it being fully crowd funded in order to keep going. Without crowd funding I have to shut this thing down.
There's a voice in my head that likes to tell me that it will never happen. Why does it say that? Because I've never been able to maintain a paid-for platform before. I've never made enough money to support a platform that wasn't free. Based on past experience the voice in my head is predicting the future and creating the same outcome. But I changed things this time and I did this differently.
I posted about what I was doing and I said openly that I couldn't afford the platform and that if it wasn't fully crowd funded I wouldn't be able to maintain it. I changed the strategy and that should result in a different outcome but the voice in my head doesn't pay attention to that.
What I want you to see is that generally the voice in my head is not all that obnoxious. It doesn't spend time insulting me or causing a load of trouble, but it is a bit of a naysayer sometimes. What I've learned to do is work around it a little bit. I've learned to not engage in the story. I've learned to understand that the voice just talks a lot and is only replaying old stories of pain. It truthfully has nothing new to say.
Kind of like emotions, I've taught myself to stay out of the story that wants to play in my head. No, it's not a perfect system and yes, I still struggle to control it sometimes, but I have enough skills now to be able to recognize what's happening when it's happening.
For most people they just buy into whatever the voice says. They actually don't override, veto, or edit the voice at all. They just let the voice say whatever and they agree with it. So the minute the voice tells them they suck, they believe it. When I tell you that this is a good way to stay in pain all the time, it's because I used to do that myself. I know what that's like and it sucks.
You have to be able to tune out of the 24/7 narration in your head because it's lying to you and it's filled with painful stories that aren't true anymore. When that voice offers you one of those many stories, you have to be able recognize it and at least not buy into it, if not shut it down completely. The better you get at this the fewer stories the voice will make up - but it's a process and it takes practice.
What I usually tell people is to start with the thing that's screaming the loudest. Why? Because that's the thing that's on repeat right now. That's the story that you're telling the most often. It's the one that'll be the easiest to stop because it's so prominent. You don't have to make an effort to find it, it's just there. It's the proverbial elephant in the room.
The way to deal with it is to begin to question the story you're being told. Is the voice in my head telling me the truth? The answer is no, but you need to be able to see that for yourself. Can you see that the voice is lying?
Now look at what action you were planning to take or not take based on what that voice is saying. Is that helpful? Is it moving you in the right direction? If not, then why are you doing it? Can you shift your thinking away from the voice in your and come up with a strategy that allows you to move forward anyway? Can you find a way to mitigate the fear the voice in your head is offering?
Life is a giant strategy session. The strategy is all about how to make your human self comfortable so that you can be okay and move on with your life. How do I do this in such a way that I don't freak myself out? How do I make this work for myself?
You'll get good at seeing the stories your mind makes up and you'll learn how to modify your behavior in such a way that you can make yourself comfortable. Honestly, that's all I'm doing. I see the story and I'm just looking for ways to make myself comfortable enough to try to move forward anyway.
Will it work? Who knows! But you know what? I'm willing to go on the journey even when the outcome is unsure or unknown. I'm okay with what happens because there is an inherent value in the journey of simply writing these articles, even if nobody ever reads them.
And that's the point. Going on the journey even when the voice in your head tells you not to, is usually how you learn the most. The journey is where the value is. The destination is just a cool rest stop until the next adventure begins.
Love to all.
Della