Post by Della Wren on Feb 25, 2023 18:00:28 GMT -6
It's funny because I talked all about managing the emotions in my article around Healing the Pain. Why? Because healing the pain requires us to manage emotions. We can't heal when we're distracted by our emotions and often that's what keeps people stuck.
My emotions were coming up today too and I had to work through them. The main thing for me is to understand where they are coming from. They are playing out based on an old story that I like to tell myself about how I'm stuck in my life circumstances. Right now, my path and my goal is to prove that story wrong.
Is that easy?
No, because I have to be able to manage both my thinking and my emotions to do it. I have to recognize the story and then not make decisions based on that story. I have to be aware of myself to move past the old stories my mind and emotions want to offer me. What does that look like?
Since the whole point of this article is emotions, lets start there. The emotion is the sadness or hopelessness or the fear that shows up. Emotion doesn't happen in a bubble. It's based on something in your head, whether you're consciously aware of it or not. Not having conscious control over the emotion does not make you a victim of the emotion. It doesn't mean you suddenly have to put up with it. It also doesn't prohibit you from taking control over it once it's there. If you do just give in then it puts you at the mercy of your mind and whatever emotion it wants to generate. That creates emotional chaos and keeps you out of control.
The more effort you put into your understanding your emotions, why they show up, and why your mind offers them to you without your conscious awareness, the easier it's going to be for you to get a grip on it.
Often when the mind offers you emotion without telling you about it, it's because it's replaying an old story. Your mind is hoping you'll get sucked into the emotion and then you won't move forward. The goal is to keep you stuck to protect you from more pain. It's not a bad thing, that's how the mind functions, but if you want to be happy in your life then you have to get control over this first.
We're not squishing anything. We're not denying our feelings. We're understanding them and we're allowing them to show us the story the mind is replaying. From there, we can make choices about what to do next that aren't based on that story. We get to take control and not just get sucked in.
It's easy to be distracted by emotions. I've had to push through my own today to be able to write a bunch. But I know the story of the emotions and I don't need to stay there. The point of pushing through is to prove those emotions wrong. I'm essentially looking for my reality to show me a different story. But here's the thing - I didn't just stay in the hamster wheel when I did that.
When we keep responding the same way to a set of emotions or thoughts, it keeps us in a loop. It becomes a pattern. If you want your reality to prove you wrong, then you have to change your response to reality first. You have to make that first move by changing what you're doing. When you change your behavior and then you ask the Universe to show you the truth of that new behavior, it will do that. It doesn't do it when you stay in the hamster wheel and don't change your behavior first.
So, I had to get out of the emotion and the story long enough to create some sort of a behavior change that would allow me to shift my reality. I did that. I'm still doing that. The thing is, it requires a level of awareness and a little bit of courage to do.
We get stuck in the courage thing because we don't like changing and we worry about how people are going to react. It really comes down to whether or not you want it to change. I'm bound and determined to create a different reality for myself. That means that I'll keep shifting and focusing on myself until something changes, until I see something new show up.
I have a very specific focus on only doing the things that I want to do in a way that allows me to help support myself and my family. I've moved to a crowd-funding model as a way to do that. That shift in behavior requires me to trust a little bit. What it meant was that I had to be honest about the dangers of moving toward this model because I can't afford this platform by myself. I need it to support itself month to month in order to keep going.
What was my change in behavior? I was honest about the struggle with being able to move toward my goal on my own. It's bringing up all the feels and that's okay. I'm filling in the spaces even with all that going on in the background. How can I do that? I'm not stuffing anything. I just recognize why it's there and then I get okay with it.
Emotions don't have to be as complicated as we want to make them. When we do our best to understand them instead of identify with them, it changes how we respond when they show up.
There is a better way forward. Stay tuned for more and I'll keep showing you how to do it.
Love to all.
Della
My emotions were coming up today too and I had to work through them. The main thing for me is to understand where they are coming from. They are playing out based on an old story that I like to tell myself about how I'm stuck in my life circumstances. Right now, my path and my goal is to prove that story wrong.
Is that easy?
No, because I have to be able to manage both my thinking and my emotions to do it. I have to recognize the story and then not make decisions based on that story. I have to be aware of myself to move past the old stories my mind and emotions want to offer me. What does that look like?
Since the whole point of this article is emotions, lets start there. The emotion is the sadness or hopelessness or the fear that shows up. Emotion doesn't happen in a bubble. It's based on something in your head, whether you're consciously aware of it or not. Not having conscious control over the emotion does not make you a victim of the emotion. It doesn't mean you suddenly have to put up with it. It also doesn't prohibit you from taking control over it once it's there. If you do just give in then it puts you at the mercy of your mind and whatever emotion it wants to generate. That creates emotional chaos and keeps you out of control.
The more effort you put into your understanding your emotions, why they show up, and why your mind offers them to you without your conscious awareness, the easier it's going to be for you to get a grip on it.
Often when the mind offers you emotion without telling you about it, it's because it's replaying an old story. Your mind is hoping you'll get sucked into the emotion and then you won't move forward. The goal is to keep you stuck to protect you from more pain. It's not a bad thing, that's how the mind functions, but if you want to be happy in your life then you have to get control over this first.
We're not squishing anything. We're not denying our feelings. We're understanding them and we're allowing them to show us the story the mind is replaying. From there, we can make choices about what to do next that aren't based on that story. We get to take control and not just get sucked in.
It's easy to be distracted by emotions. I've had to push through my own today to be able to write a bunch. But I know the story of the emotions and I don't need to stay there. The point of pushing through is to prove those emotions wrong. I'm essentially looking for my reality to show me a different story. But here's the thing - I didn't just stay in the hamster wheel when I did that.
When we keep responding the same way to a set of emotions or thoughts, it keeps us in a loop. It becomes a pattern. If you want your reality to prove you wrong, then you have to change your response to reality first. You have to make that first move by changing what you're doing. When you change your behavior and then you ask the Universe to show you the truth of that new behavior, it will do that. It doesn't do it when you stay in the hamster wheel and don't change your behavior first.
So, I had to get out of the emotion and the story long enough to create some sort of a behavior change that would allow me to shift my reality. I did that. I'm still doing that. The thing is, it requires a level of awareness and a little bit of courage to do.
We get stuck in the courage thing because we don't like changing and we worry about how people are going to react. It really comes down to whether or not you want it to change. I'm bound and determined to create a different reality for myself. That means that I'll keep shifting and focusing on myself until something changes, until I see something new show up.
I have a very specific focus on only doing the things that I want to do in a way that allows me to help support myself and my family. I've moved to a crowd-funding model as a way to do that. That shift in behavior requires me to trust a little bit. What it meant was that I had to be honest about the dangers of moving toward this model because I can't afford this platform by myself. I need it to support itself month to month in order to keep going.
What was my change in behavior? I was honest about the struggle with being able to move toward my goal on my own. It's bringing up all the feels and that's okay. I'm filling in the spaces even with all that going on in the background. How can I do that? I'm not stuffing anything. I just recognize why it's there and then I get okay with it.
Emotions don't have to be as complicated as we want to make them. When we do our best to understand them instead of identify with them, it changes how we respond when they show up.
There is a better way forward. Stay tuned for more and I'll keep showing you how to do it.
Love to all.
Della