Post by Della Wren on Feb 27, 2023 13:29:23 GMT -6
When people think of healing they think of emotions first and foremost. Some people recognize that they have to get control over their thinking as well, but not everybody. Almost nobody recognizes that to heal fully they need to change their behavior too.
Consider that most of your behavior was created by the pain that you've experienced in your life. You learned coping mechanisms and survival skills. You learned how to modify yourself to suit the people around you. If your mother constantly told you that you were too loud, then you taught yourself to quiet down to please your mother. That's a coping mechanism to make sure your mom kept feeding you while you were growing up. That's one example of thousands that are out there.
We all have these without exception! Nobody is immune to this! There is always an aspect of our behavior that will bother somebody around us. If that particular aspect of you was a bother to your caregivers growing up, then you modified that to make those people happy.
Can you now see how doing that has become a problem for you? That modification isn't allowing you to be who you truly are. You're still modifying yourself based on who you think people want you to be and you do it unconsciously. This is the thing that keeps you stuck in the pain even after you heal the thoughts and feelings.
You and I have dozens of unconscious behaviors that are connected to old wounds that we may or may not have healed yet. One of the biggest things that I see in spiritual circles is people complaining that they still end up in the same cycles, the same pain, and the same experiences. What they don't understand is that they haven't changed their response to the outside world yet. So every time that experience shows up they respond the same way because they haven't fixed their behavior yet. If you truly want the experience to stop happening then you have to heal your thoughts, emotions, and behavior or response to what's happening. You can't keep responding using the same wounded behavior and expect different results.
How is your behavior affecting the experiences you're having?
Self-mastery is the process of healing all of it - thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. When we try to do one in isolation we get stuck. We can't heal from there because we end up just spinning around in that one thing. If you heal your thinking and you're still an emotional train wreck, you're not going to feel better. If you heal your emotions and your mind still offers you all kinds of crazy, you're still going to feel better. If you try to heal your behavior without fixing your thoughts and your feelings first, your behavior will still be based on pain and probably won't change much of anything.
You have to work on all three separately and together to fully heal. That's what the journey of self-mastery is all about.
Love to all.
Della
Consider that most of your behavior was created by the pain that you've experienced in your life. You learned coping mechanisms and survival skills. You learned how to modify yourself to suit the people around you. If your mother constantly told you that you were too loud, then you taught yourself to quiet down to please your mother. That's a coping mechanism to make sure your mom kept feeding you while you were growing up. That's one example of thousands that are out there.
We all have these without exception! Nobody is immune to this! There is always an aspect of our behavior that will bother somebody around us. If that particular aspect of you was a bother to your caregivers growing up, then you modified that to make those people happy.
Can you now see how doing that has become a problem for you? That modification isn't allowing you to be who you truly are. You're still modifying yourself based on who you think people want you to be and you do it unconsciously. This is the thing that keeps you stuck in the pain even after you heal the thoughts and feelings.
You and I have dozens of unconscious behaviors that are connected to old wounds that we may or may not have healed yet. One of the biggest things that I see in spiritual circles is people complaining that they still end up in the same cycles, the same pain, and the same experiences. What they don't understand is that they haven't changed their response to the outside world yet. So every time that experience shows up they respond the same way because they haven't fixed their behavior yet. If you truly want the experience to stop happening then you have to heal your thoughts, emotions, and behavior or response to what's happening. You can't keep responding using the same wounded behavior and expect different results.
How is your behavior affecting the experiences you're having?
Self-mastery is the process of healing all of it - thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. When we try to do one in isolation we get stuck. We can't heal from there because we end up just spinning around in that one thing. If you heal your thinking and you're still an emotional train wreck, you're not going to feel better. If you heal your emotions and your mind still offers you all kinds of crazy, you're still going to feel better. If you try to heal your behavior without fixing your thoughts and your feelings first, your behavior will still be based on pain and probably won't change much of anything.
You have to work on all three separately and together to fully heal. That's what the journey of self-mastery is all about.
Love to all.
Della